What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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hi

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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