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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops