- Anti Joke

CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

Knock Knock Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

Walk Into The Bakery "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops