Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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