Black, I dont know if you are kidding around or something, but I cant reach you on the phone pal, I am really sorry about the Valium, it was like only 10 milligrams pal, I mean please man, it was a joke, and Ill break up with Line anyways, I mean Alex and Petter are sorry too okay? Just take the phone, ill be there soon, I mean come on, you are the most cruel person I know, lets talk about it

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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