What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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a man checks his mypsace

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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