two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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