Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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