Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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Denard Robinson

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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