whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops