Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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