Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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Guess what?..... I once saw a black man who had a job that wasnt on work release........

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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like if your cool

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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