A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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One, two, three, four and five

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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