What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I agree to the terms and conditions

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops