Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Why couldn't the Joker browse the internet? He was using Compuserve.

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no.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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