A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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