What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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whats worse than catching your parents having sex? having sex with your parents

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops