Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

What's better than a stick? A stone

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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