What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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