What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops