What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? Everything you own

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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What's worse than a shotgoun to the balls? Nothing.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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