This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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