How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? You don't, the giraffe is a savanah animals and there is no physical way for a giraffe to fit in a refridgerator.

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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A American seeking into mexico

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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