Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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