Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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dat shoe shine tho

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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A baby walks into a bar, not long before it leaves out of the bar.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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A whole 'nother.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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