What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops