What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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