A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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What do you call a orange BAD GRAMMER

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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