Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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