A man walks into a bar and says "ouch". The nearby patrons ask him what is ailing him.

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What do you say to a woman in the kitchen? Cook me some food.

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The jinx machine just stole your money... ... this poem was supposed to be funny

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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Ask me if I am an orange. "Are you an orange?" No.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Wanna hear an inside joke? Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You touch yourself. I do, too.

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Q: what do you call a black guy on the moon A: An astronaut you resist bastard

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Two guys jump off a cliff... the third guy calls an ambulance.

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What did the creepy old man do to the child? Took him to baseball practice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the black men.

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What's black and blue and red all over? Due to the infinite nature of the universe many items both natural and manufactured could be described in this manner.

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Q: What has two wheels and is not funny? A:Ryan Vallee on a segway -Ryan V

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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A women leaves the kitchen.

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Guess what? You just lost the game.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

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What did the 16 year old boy say to the obese girl who failed at typing? "sucks for you bitch-face."

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops