Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning?.. Take your foot off his head

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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