Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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hahahahahah http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=sonny+bartlett&hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&tbnid=s37cS73V74A8YM:&imgrefurl=http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCASl7llFhDpTF8vwjDlGI_g/videos&docid=kJoLzGiYRM-2AM&itg=1&imgurl=https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-si7_hCcHI7E/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAAAA/HzlEl3ilyyM/s55-c-k/photo.jpg&w=55&h=55&ei=GrgsUZ_kJqac0AWExIC4BQ&zoom=1&biw=1024&bih=616&iact=rc&dur=188&sig=111947294788926856610&page=1&tbnh=55&tbnw=55&start=0&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:0,i:109&tx=27&ty=11

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

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YOU: Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy swimming in a pool? Nothing except one has melenan in their skin

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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