A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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What do you call a deer in the wild? a deer

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Weaner

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Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

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A sign at the drug rehab centre said keep off the grass. Jimmy thought it was a joke. So the groundskeeper chopped his legs off.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops