im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Extremely vulnerable to predacious animals such as Brown Bears and Grey Herons

Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

David Cameron

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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