YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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womans rights...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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Why did the boy tell the fly to eat the cheese? A: because he wanted him to

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops