hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

Question: how many times a power rangers episode show a power rangets face ANSWER: dont ask me im not that big of a power rangers!

A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

What do you call a black man on the moon? A miracle

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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