how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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Where's my baby??

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops