A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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What do Justin Bieber and Eminem have in common? They both need to get a life. I lied about Eminem.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops