What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Jimmy Saville

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops