Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops