A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

12 in general

What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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