Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

a penguin biked to a bakery he walked in and asked for buns the baker said how many 12 or 13 the penguin said it don't matter I brought my bike

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

Stop driving smart cars you fags

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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