Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Paper or plastic? Yes...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i'm an inbred jew - Barras

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats red and hard to eat a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you have a stroke, call 000

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops