An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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12 in general

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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sky silverstein

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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