Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

thumb_up thumb_down +2

quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

thumb_up thumb_down

Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

thumb_up thumb_down

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

thumb_up thumb_down

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

thumb_up thumb_down

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops