Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

14 people jump in a hole about 25 ft deep. they can't climb out because it is a straight vertical drop.

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

When life gives you lemons. You make beef stew. #andymilinokis

An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? She was blind

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a predator and crossing the road led it away from it's pursuer.

What's brown a sticky? -A stick

Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

What do you call a naked black person? A black guy

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

You know that you are going to fail horribly when... your purpose generally defeats the mission.

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

HAPPY NOVEMBER 2

What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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