Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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And now a word from our sponsors

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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Maths.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Whats 1+1? window!

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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