Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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