Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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A man walks into a bar, drinks, then leaves the bar.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops