Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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i dont fisish anythi

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbi survives.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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So a man walks into a bar... ouch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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