Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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