Baby Seal walks into a club.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops