What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Whats worse then dieing and going to hell? Waking up and going to school.

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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